What do you do if King Kong sits in front of you at the cinema? Miss most of the film!- zobacz
A little boy went into a baker's' 'How much are those cakes ? he asked 'Two for 25 cents,' said the baker ' How much does one cost ?' asked the boy '13 cents,' said the baker 'Then I'll take the other one for 12 cents !' said the boy- zobacz
Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one night when all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instantly. Bill told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. About one hour later Bill sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and torn. "What happened to you?" asked Bill. "Well, the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar and his 19-year-old daughter made mad passionate love to me." "My God, what did you tell them?" asks Clinton. The driver replies, "I'm Bill Clinton's driver, and I just killed the pig."- zobacz
Q: Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the same day in Iraq? A: They don't want to wear out the camel.- zobacz
Say something soft and sweet to me. Dracula: Marshmallows, chocolate fudge cake...- zobacz
What do you call an English teacher, five feet tall, covered from head to toe in boils and totally bald? Sir!- zobacz
What do you get if you cross a hairdresser with a werewolf? A monster with an all-over perm.- zobacz
Abraham wanted a new suit, so he bought a nice piece of cloth and then tried to locate a tailor. The first tailor he visited looked at the cloth and measured Abraham, then told him the cloth was not enough to make a suit. Abraham was unhappy with this opinion and sought another tailor. This tailor measured Abraham, then measured the cloth, and then smiled and said, "There is enough cloth to make a pair of trousers, a coat and a vest, please come back in a week to take your suit." After a week Abraham came to take his new suit, and saw the tailor's son wearing trousers made of the same cloth. Perplexed, he asked, "Just how could you make a full suit for me and trousers for your son, when the other tailor could not make a suit only?" "It's very simple," replied the tailor, "The other tailor has two sons."- zobacz
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach? Elkaseltzer.- zobacz
Yo mama so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.- zobacz